(989): She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
(530): Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
(724): A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
(561): I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
(605): Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
(413): Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
(336): My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
(905): Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
(206): She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.