I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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