is your mom at the bar?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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