So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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