Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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