She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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