Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You pole danced in your parka.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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